Spirits in the sky (Levi x Deceased!Reader)

Spirits in the sky.

Oneshot

Levi x deceased! Reader.

A/n: In this, you, the reader, are about 20 or so years old at the beginning.

Levi got up from his desk around midnight and walked over to his office window. The night was clear, calm. The moonlight cast a pale light over the land. He looked around and sighed. It was perfect out. A night so beautiful that he could almost forget the animosity and dangers this god forsaken world had. Almost. He was about to sit down again to continue his paper work, but something caught his eye. A small figure, a cadet probably, sitting down on top of a hill near HQ. He let an irritated growl out as he turned around and headed for the door.

                Levi had finally made it outside, and was now walking up the hill where the dark form was sitting.

“Oi, brat! What in the hell do you think you’re doing up this late?” the dark mass let out a slight shriek, then stood up. It then turned around to reveal (F/N).

Levi would be lying if he said he hadn’t noticed her. In fact, it was hard for him not to. The girl was a killing machine. Her form was always spot on. She was fast, quick and clean. She was tough as nails too, she didn’t take crap off of anyone, but she knew her place. He respected that about her.

 “Sir, I-I um,” she paused, obviously uncomfortable, “Sorry. I know it’s after curfew, I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to see the stars.” He waved her off, and strode up to stand next to her.

“Whatever. Coincidentally, I can’t sleep either.” She visibly relaxed, then smiled.

“I don’t know that that was the problem sir, I think the problem was that heap of paper work Commander Smith had me deliver to you.” He shot her a glare, and she laughed quietly while she turned back around and sat back down. She laughed. Nobody but Hanji laughed when he glared at them. That was another thing he loved about her. She laughed where people would usually run for their lives when it came to him. It confused the hell out of him.

They sat in silence for about ten minutes. Levi didn’t look at the stars though, he was too preoccupied with watching (f/n). She was sitting about 4 inches away from him, with her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, and her chin rested on them. Her face looked calm and peaceful as she watched the sky in front of them. Her long hair was down and flowing at her back, the cool night breeze playing with her (H/c) locks gently. She looked calm, at peace, it was as if there was nothing else in existence but her, the hill she was on, and the blanket of stars above her. She looked positively radiant in the pale moonlight, and completely different from what she was in the day. During the day, her hair was always in a neat French braid. Her face was hard, stoic. She looked ready for battle during every moment he saw her. She was strong, confident, and smart. So smart, that Levi was secretly constantly worried for her safety. He wanted her to go far and advance, but he didn’t want her doing things that required more skill than she had.  But here, in this moment, she looked totally different, and he was captivated.

“So, (L/n), what’s so interesting about the stars?” He broke the silence. She smiled and turned her head to face him.

“You’ll think it’s stupid, sir.” Levi rolled his eyes.

“Just spit it out before I haul your ass inside.” She smiled a little more, then looked at the ground between them. After a moment, she looked back to the north sky ahead of them, and sighed

“My father always told me, that when people die, they become stars. The reason why that is, is because my clan used stars to guide them in the times before the walls. When people weren’t kept inside, my people lived in the lands to the north, but would go south to hunt in the summer months. If a lone hunter or a hunting party were to get lost, they would look to the north where the guiding star was, and it would bring them home.” Levi looked to the north as (F/N) took a moment, and saw a bright star hanging in the night sky towards the north. “When a person dies, other spirits from the clan come down to retrieve it, and bring it to the sky so that it can guide we who remain below, and they never truly die because their wisdom gets passed on. It doesn’t always have to be direction when you’re physically lost, sir, it could be when you feel mentally lost also. Father said that when I feel lost and need help finding direction within myself, to look to the stars, and that they will help me to decide the path I should chose.” She stopped and turned her face to Levi once more. He processed what she had said carefully, so not to forget it. She studied his features carefully, then smiled sadly.

“See sir, stupid.” He looked at her.

“No, it’s nice.” He gazed at her and felt a tugging in his heart. He leaned towards her slightly, placing his hand on the grass between them. She closed her (e/c) eyes slightly and leaned towards him a little. He could feel her gentle breath on his lips, and he wanted so desperately to kiss her, but remembered that he, was her boss, and it wouldn’t be appropriate. So instead he pulled away abruptly and cleared his throat. She pulled back looking slightly upset.

‘Great job, dumbass, you ruined her night.’ He cursed himself mentally, then looked northward again to avoid the sad look on her face. But the horizon had changed. The stars were all the same, but there was something new. Something foreign. Something beautiful.

The sky to in front of him, was now alive. Moving in the sky, far above the earth, was a curtain of greenish-blue light. It dance lightly, as though it was moving against a breeze. It was slow, and fluid. Mesmerizing. It dipped low, then high again. It changed form, and moved closer to them, then away again, remain elusive. He heard a surprised gasp from beside him.

He looked at (F/N), who’s eyes now held a look of wonder. She looked ahead steadily, her eyes following the movements of the mysterious lights.

“What are those?” he inquired            

“Spirits. They’re guiding the souls stuck on earth to the sky.” She smiled.

“Now we have new guides, and now they can rest in peace with their friends.” He paused for a moment. If she used the stars for guidance, then what the hell is she doing right now? Is she just gazing at the stars, or is something wrong? He looked at her, the new realization of something being wrong, brought worry and unease with it.

“So why are you looking at the stars then?” she froze, and her body stiffened.

“Well?” She looked away from him. She sat quietly, her brow furrowed in thought.

“Well, I came out here to get help with a matter that’s been troubling me for some time.” She spoke slowly, picking each word carefully. “I came out here to decide whether or not I should tell the person I love how I truly feel about them.” She paused.

“Why in the fuck do you need guidance in that?” he asked flatly.

“Because he’s superior to me.” She responded, sounding slightly defeated. “I don’t believe I’m good enough for him. I’d rather save the both of us the embarrassment.” Levi muffled a scoff. This girl was fucking lethal, she was insightful, honest… Hell she was perfect in any light to him. Levi wanted to know what jackass made her feel like she was inferior to him, and undeserving. If anything the prick was undeserving of her.

“Who is it?” he asked, sounding slightly aggravated.

“I’m under no obligation to tell you that, sir.” She said softly.

“Tch, don’t be a smartass.” He glared at her. “Describe this jackass then.”

She thought for a moment then nodded to herself.

“Fine.” She looked at him, almost remorsefully. “Well, he’s an excellent leader, everyone looks up to him. He’s smart,” Erwin. She’s fucking in love with Erwin. Levi felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach as (F/N) continued. “He’s cocky, and a bit of an asshole at times. Hmmm, he’s often misjudged for being emotionless, and expressionless…”

‘Oh. Shit, I’m the jackass.’ He looked at (f/n), who was now moving slightly closer to him.

“His sense of duty far surpasses his sense of self. I worry that he works to hard…” There was next to no space between them now. He could feel the heat coming off of her body, and smell the scent of the shampoo she used. He leaned into her again, this time forgetting his position, and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. She buried her face in his neck, and he felt her breath in his scent. Levi felt an arm wrap around his back, and another wrapping around his front, the two meeting on his left side.

“I love you, sir.” He heard (F/n) whisper. He held her tighter, and kissed the top of her head.

“I don’t want you to call me that when we’re alone like this. You call me Levi when we’re alone, (f/n).”

“Sorry.”

“I love you too, (f/n).”

Time skip to ten years later.

It was late, and yet again, Levi was up late in his office, working on some paper work. He paused for a moment, and dropped his pen. He grabbed the patch out of his desk drawer, and leaned back in his chair. He looked at the patch in his hands and ran his fingers over the wings stitched into it. He began reminiscing about the past.

10 years ago, (F/N) told him how she felt about him.

8 years ago, they got engaged. Levi was incredibly nervous. He bought (F/N) a simple platinum band, with a simple, small diamond. It would look excellent on (f/n)’s finger, and compliment the delicacy of her slender hands. It took him a month to work up the nerve to ask her. They had been in bed, she had her head rested on his chest, her fingers tracing gently along the muscles of his stomach. He kissed the top of her head, and breathed in the lovely scent of her hair.

“(f/n)…” he muttered into her hair. She hummed lazily in response.

“You’re amazing…” he kissed her hair again then held her tighter. “I love you.”

“love you too.” She kissed his chest lightly. Levi reached into the bedside table and pulled out the ring, then slid it onto her hand. There was a moment of silence which felt like a lifetime to Levi. (F/n) looked her hand, and examined it. She sat up, holding her left hand in her right.

“Levi?” He felt his face flush. His heart began racing. He reached a hand around to the nape of his neck and looked at the bed awkwardly, anticipating rejection. But instead (F/n) turned around and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

“Yes.” Reality sunk in with that one word, panted out between kisses. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto himself. Losing himself in her for the night.

7 years ago, they got married. She looked every part the bride. Her hair was down, and her dress was pure white, and simple. Levi remembered how his heart nearly stopped. He was worried that it wasn’t going to be a titan that killed him, but perhaps cardiac arrest at his own wedding caused by his wife.

6 Years ago, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. After hours of hearing things such as: “WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?”, “LEVI I SWEAR TO THE WALLS IF YOU DO THIS AGAIN I’LL KILL YOU.”, and (his favourite) being told to shut his whore mouth, Levi finally got to hold his first born, (D/N). He was so nervous. He was afraid he’d break the fragile being in his arms. He realized he needed to work twice as hard as before in order to make this place livable for his family. His girls were the best damn things inside of any of the walls. He would make sure they both saw the day humanity lived outside of them.

4 years ago, she was killed in action. Her body wasn’t retrieved. Levi, lost half of himself that day. His daughter lost her mother.  He remembered walking up to his daughter. Who ran with open arms towards him. He felt his heart nearly give out. How in the hell was he going to explain this to a two year old. He felt his eyes begin to burn as he knelt on the ground, holding the toddler protectively to his chest. He cried into her (H/c) hair, and placed a hand behind her head.

“Where’s mommy?” his heart broke. He couldn’t find the words to say. He couldn’t find it in himself to say them. Because once he said them, he felt like it would become reality. He wasn’t ready to face reality yet.  (F/n) was gone. It was his fault. He couldn’t protect her. He had failed her. He failed (D/n). The light in the dark world in which they lived, was gone.

    He felt his heart tighten in his chest. He sat for several minutes, trying to remember the sound of her voice, the melodic sound of her laugh. He hated himself for forgetting. He wished so badly that it had been him that was crushed by that bastard humanoid. Then he wouldn’t need to face his daughter every day, seeing go about in the world without her mother. And he knew. He knew and felt in his soul, it was his fault she didn’t have one. She needed you. He needed you.

He was brought out of his self-disgust when he heard soft foot falls approaching his desk. (d/n), wrapped in a blanket, drearily wandered around to Levi, stopping beside his chair.

“What in the hell are you doing up at this hour?” he asked. She just rubbed her eye, and then climbed onto his lap.

“I can’t sleep, Daddy.” He wrapped an arm around her, still holding (f/n)’s wings.

“Why?” she sniffled.

“I miss Mommy.” He ran his hand through his daughter’s hair carefully.

He looked outside. It was a clear calm night, just as it had been all that time ago. The pale moonlight lit the landscape. Levi’s eyes scanned the grounds of the HQ. Empty as they should be. Then his eyes fell upon the hill. He placed the patch back in the safe spot in the drawer, then stood up with (d/n). He headed towards his office door and opened it carefully.

He walked out to the hill and sat down facing north ward, his daughter on his lap. The sky was clear, each star shining brilliantly above them. He held (D/N) close to his chest. He sat for a while, thinking of what to say. After all this time, he still hadn’t quite been able to find words of comfort his daughter needed. (F/N) wouldn’t have had a problem with it. He looked and saw a greenish-blue light in the distant sky. It was dull at first, but over a few minutes it began to shine with vigor and intensity. He heard a small gasp.

“Daddy, what are those?” (d/n)’s voice was full of wonder.  He felt tears well up in his eyes as he remembered that night a decade ago.

“I want to tell you a story your mother told me a long time ago.”